Growing Up

I am a terminal child.  The issue is not that I can't portray myself as a mature woman of a certain age, or that I can't conduct myself in a dignified manner, but I prefer to retain my many childlike qualities. 

In the first place, I'm not sure what acting my age would entail.  Do I have to stop laughing and start being serious all the time?  I don't think I can do that.  Should I look stern all the time, instead of smiling?  I cant do that either.  I am constantly shocked, after looking in the mirror at the face peering back at me - who is that old woman in the looking glass.  It certainly cannot be me. I don't remember my hair turning gray, or my face beginning to sag, or those wrinkles folding into my skin.

I see myself as a young woman in my early 30's - inside my head, that is who I am.  OK, I know my joints hurt a little more today than they did yesterday, and my clothes seem to have shrunk while hanging in the closet, but its not the result of anything I did.  It just happened, by no fault of my own.  I know a lot more than I used to, but I go to college and intelligence is bound to happen when you pay attention.  I have some "life experiences" that have made things easier for me than for my classmates, but that doesn't mean that I'm older.  It just means that I have experience that comes from living a rich, full, life.

I prefer to say what I mean and to tell the truth, and if you ask me my opinion, you had better be ready to hear what I have to say.  Sometimes the inanity of a situation cancels my ability to remain politely tactful.  Sarcasm is my favorite weapon and my favorite kind of humor, but I'm generally a cheerful, happy, young person at heart.  I guess, in Jimmy Buffet's words, I'm growing older, but not up.  I like the words of Peter Pan too...."if growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I wont grow up, never grow up, not me!!"