Dear Diary........

I sometimes wonder why it is so hard to remember that you cannot always be all things to all people, and one cannot always fix things when they become broken. When my children were small, a boo boo was made better with a kiss, a Barney Band-Aid, and a glass of chocolate milk. As they got older, life’s wounds became more difficult to fix. Now that they are grown, not only can I not fix everything, they don't even want me to try. It’s a hard habit to break, this wanting to make everything better, to check under the bed and in the closets for the boogey man, but I am finally managing. I have my own boogie man to worry about, and usually, it is me.

As a rescuer of unwanted, mistreated animals, I, better than most, know that you can’t always save the ones who need saving, but occasionally, I lose sight of that fact, and find myself knee deep in situations that are of my own making. This week has found me in one of those situations, and I have, with difficulty, extricated myself, but I’m feeling bad. Good intentions were not a good enough reason to find myself in the mess I was in, but it is some comfort to know that I was at least trying to do the right thing. My failure sticks out, to me at least, like a red headed step child. I don’t like to fail, at least when I am attempting to do good, but failure is sometimes inevitable. Maybe failure is my best teacher. I won’t make the same mistake twice.

I brought home a dog that seemed to be in need. She was of a breed that I am not personally familiar with, although much has been written about them in hysterical terms in media, and reported on television. She was of the "pit bull" family. I didn’t know anything about her, but she was stray, and seemed like she needed me, so I welcomed her into my family, with open arms. I named her Angel, and taught her tricks, and loved her as one of my own beloved dog family.


The breed, Pit Bull, isn’t really a breed. It is a group of breeds that also contains a mixture of terrier types, who, for years were bred to fight. There are many other breeds recognized by the AKC who were bred to fight, but the media hype is not about them. I suppose it is because those breeds do not provide the same opportunity for status as so many small minded, ignorant people hope to enjoy. There is not, in my opinion, a bad breed of dog. There are none who, as a whole group of animals, are hell bent on killing people and other animals. Dogs, like people, are individuals, having their own personalities and traits. Not all blacks are stupid, or Hispanics lazy.....these are unfair and incorrect stereotypes. I don’t like stereotypical labels. Not all Pit Bulls are dangerous. Nature makes them who they are; terriers. Terriers have certain traits that make them unique. Terriers typically have little tolerance for other animals, including other dogs. Their ancestors were bred to hunt and kill vermin. Many continue to project the attitude that they're always eager for a spirited argument. What they are not, as a group, is people killers.  Perhaps my error was in not realizing that this is not a breed for me.

I have had in my life, dogs from many of AKC's breed groups. I have had dogs from the Toy Group, the Herding Group, the Sporting Group, and the Hound Group. I call myself a successful dog owner with each of the dogs from each of these groups. I have failed as owner of this representative of the Terrier Group. I think I have to admit that although I admire many breeds from this group, perhaps it is not the group for me. I love all dogs, but perhaps some are better left in someone else's backyard.

The last afternoon with Angel, there was a fight between her and my dog Dixie. Dixie was the only dog in my pack with whom Angel had issues, or perhaps it was Dixie who had issues with Angel. I could not take the time to find out, as I know that these fights would have become more and more vicious, and would, eventually result in serious injury or even death to one of the combatants, and that was not a risk I was willing to take. After I had regained my composure, and was able to drive, I put Angel in my truck and drove back to the area in which I had found her and found her home. I know that she is going back to her life on the end of a chain. I feel terrible about it, but I can't save them all. Sometimes it is enough of a challenge to save the few I have. I hope that God will watch over this creature of his, and I pray that she will forgive me. I can not save her.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.